Truth
by mad4merder
Summary: A Mer/Der AU fic - Following the events that unfold from a one-night stand, when the two involved meet again years later. CURRENTLY ON HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Well, this whole idea and concept has probably been done before. Most likely, too many times. But I thought I would post this anyway. I have the chapters following this planned out and I promise I will bring some original ideas and events that might hopefully keep you interested. I'd appreciate it if you left a review as I'd like to know if anyone would in fact even be interested in reading this fic. Ideas, comments, criticism (Please, make sure it's constructive) will all be accepted. Thanks :] And, I hope you like it!

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**Truth**

**Seattle, 2004.**

Her eyes opened and she squinted, adjusting to the incredibly bright sunlight that was illuminating the room. For a second she wondered if the scattered memories of the previous night had in fact been real and not just some interesting dream she had conjured in her state of unconsciousness. Her eyes darted to the floor and she winced slightly. Oh, it had been real. Grabbing the faded blue blanket that was covering the man who was lying asleep on the cool, wooden floorboards of her house, she wrapped it around her own naked frame. Maybe tequila hadn't been the best choice, she cringed.

Picking up a square pillow, she dropped it on the naked man who had yet to wake up. The force of the light object, pulling him from his sleep. His eyes slowly opened and a state of confusion set in. He picked up the black bra that had been left next to him only a few hours earlier.

"This is, ah-"

"Humiliating, on so many levels," the blonde woman finished, taking her bra from the mans possession. "You have to go." He had to go.

The man's blue eyes took in the woman's features. Without the alcohol running freely through his blood, the woman was even more attractive than he had previously realized, if that was in fact possible.

"Why don't you just come down here and we'll pick up from where we left off." He couldn't help himself.

"No, seriously. You have to go," she answered quickly, tossing the man his pants. "I'm late."

"So, you actually live here?" He sounded surprised. Curious and surprised.

"No..." She was not about to go into details.

"Oh."

"Well, yes. Kind of," she nodded as she searched for something to say.

"Oh," he repeated, this time laced with much more confusion. "It's nice... A little dusty, but nice." He was being polite.

"You know what? We don't have to do the thing..." she explained with a hint of smile.

"We can do anything you want." He grinned at the woman in front of him and picked up his shirt before putting it on.

"No, the thing. Exchange details, pretend we care. Look, I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower and when I get back down here, you won't be here." She said it in all seriousness but her lips had formed a smile, making the whole conversation lighter and much more pleasant than in some cases it was sure to have been. "So um, goodbye..." She suddenly realized that she didn't even know the man's name. Only seconds earlier he had been lying naked on her floor and she couldn't even remember what his name was. She searched her brain for something, anything that could be right. "Um..."

"Derek," he finished for her. His lips curved upwards to form a smile. A smile that in any other situation would have made the woman's heart literally skip a beat. Now though, she just blushed, completely embarrassed about the situation they were in.

"Derek," she repeated with a smile. "Right. Meredith." She said accepting the hand Derek had extended to her. He used her hand to pull himself closer to Meredith, before she dropped his hand and wrapped the blanked firmly around her body.

"Meredith." And there he went with the smile again. Damn, he was good looking. "Nice meeting you."

"Bye, Derek," she said, letting out the faintest of giggles. She turned away from Derek and made her way quickly up the stairs, leaving the man with wavy, dark brown hair behind.

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**Seattle, 2009.**

"You know, he's starting today," Cristina Yang, a resident at Seattle Grace hospital told her friend as they both walked into the cafeteria.

"Who is?" the blonde answered, her eyes set on a chocolate muffin displayed on the counter a few meters ahead.

"Seriously, Meredith? Doctor Shepherd? The new Head Of Neuro."

"Oh right," Meredith answered. "I didn't realize that was today."

"How could you not? I know and the only thing I am concerned about is Cardio," Cristina said sharply as she grabbed herself a tray to carry her lunch on.

"I did know," she assured her. "I just wasn't aware he was starting today. Because unlike you, I have patients who I focus my attention on," Meredith teased her best friend with a grin.

They both made their way over to a spare table, Meredith with her muffin and Cristina holding the tray which she had placed a can of coke and a slice of pizza on. Sitting down, Meredith took a bite. She was starving and it felt more than good to finally be able to put something in her stomach.

Both women's attention turned to their friend who sat down next to them, a smile brightly lighting up her face.

"Have you seen him yet?" Izzie spoke in an overly bubbly voice.

"Who?" the two women both asked in sync.

"Doctor Shepherd! The new Head Of Neuro!"

"Don't go crazy on me. Meredith didn't even remember he was starting today," Cristina replied taking a large bite of her pizza.

"And you claim to specialize in Neuro," Izzie said with a smile, shaking her head. "I wonder what made him leave his practice in New York..." Izzie thought out loud.

"The head of a department isn't something I'd ever turn down," Cristina remarked.

"Crap," Meredith muttered, feeling her pager vibrate against her hip. "It's the chief," she explained standing up. "I'll see you guys later," she said to the two surgeons before she hurried away, her muffin still in hand, unable to part with it just yet.

Meredith had a lot on her mind lately and she'd been too busy to even think about the new surgeon starting at the hospital she had worked in for almost six years. He was apparently amazing and now that she had been reminded, she was instantly excited to meet the man. She'd chosen her specialty over two years ago and she was eager to learn as much as possible from the man who would soon be her boss.

Taking another bite of the baked good, she then dropped it in the bin that was located at the Nurses bay. Getting on to the elevator, she dug her hands in her pockets and waited as the numbers lit up with every floor she passed. Stepping off the elevator, she made her way to the Chief Of Surgery, Richard Webber's office. She wasn't normally paged to his office and it made her surprisingly nervous. She didn't have much time to wonder about it though, as before long she was steps away from the open door that connected the Chief of Surgery's office to the corridor.

"Doctor Grey," the Chief smiled, standing up as Meredith walked in.

She wasn't sure if she managed to mumble a reply to her superior as her attention had immediately been centralized on the man standing next to the Chief, whom which she had instantly recognized.

"This is Doctor Shepherd. The new Head Of Neuro," the Chief began, completely delirious to the fact that Meredith's wide eyes hadn't left the man beside him.

Derek flashed her a smile, one that she recognized all too well. It had been years since she had seen the man in front of her and still, she could recall every feature that constructed his face.

"Nice to meet you, Doctor Grey," he smiled knowingly as he extended his hand.

Meredith stood there for much too long, she was sure, without moving a muscle. "Oh, um... Nice to meet you too," she said shaking the surgeon's hand as she snapped back into reality.

"Well, Doctor Shepherd has a case he needs some assistance on. And I thought it would be a perfect time for you two to get acquainted," Richard explained.

"Thank you," Meredith managed to answer, averting her eyes from Derek's.

Derek repeated Meredith's words of thanks and he walked from the office, Meredith following behind. They started their way down the hall before Derek suddenly turned, taking them both into an empty stairwell.

"Oh my God," Meredith stuttered, the words escaping her lips quickly. She couldn't breathe, she actually felt like she couldn't breathe. "Oh my God," she repeated.

Derek looked at the woman in front of him. She was clearly shocked, to the point that it looked like she was about to start hyperventilating. He smiled, an attempt to comfort her.

"It's good to see you again," Derek said simply, his eyes focused on Meredith. Her hair was longer and hung in loose curls, but she still looked the same as she had when they had met years ago. She was even more beautiful, Derek couldn't help but take note, than the last time he had laid eyes on her.

"Oh my God..." Meredith mumbled again, her eyes meeting the floor.

"Calm down, don't worry. I won't say anything," Derek assured her, his head far closer to hers than she would have liked. "I won't tell anyone that you took advantage of me," he joked lightly.

Her eyes instantly darted up from the floor.

"What? I so did not take advantage of you!" she answered probably a little too defensively.

"I was drunk and good looking and you took advantage," Derek answered, a smug grin planted on his face.

"You are not that good looking." She wondered if she actually sounded at all convincing.

"Are you married?" he asked, completely taking her by surprise.

"What!?"

"Single...?" his voice sounded hopeful.

"You're being inappropriate, Doctor Shepherd," Meredith told him. She did not want to do this right now.

Derek shrugged. "Derek, you can call me Derek. And I was just wondering."

"Well, stop it," she said quickly.

"So, it's probably not the best time to ask you out then...?" Derek answered, with a smile that Meredith wished she could wipe off his face. He was trying to be all funny and this, this situation was so not funny.

"I didn't even answer you're question before."

"So, you're not single?"

"No, I am. But that's not the-" Meredith stopped, realizing what he had just done. "No, Doctor Shepherd. No, I will not go out with you."

Derek smiled, he was enjoying this far too much for her liking. "Well, _I_ still think it's fate. I mean, what are the chances?"

"What?" She really couldn't believe what he was getting at. "This right now, this is just a coincidence."

Meredith rested her elbows on the thin railing that lined the stairs, resting her head in her hands.

"This is so not happening," she wished out loud.

"Meredith, don't worry. I'll stop with the joking," Derek began. "It's been years, no one has to know," he assured her. "It'll be fun, kind of like our own little secret."

Meredith stood up, her eyes finding the pools of blue that were darting into hers.

"I do not need any more secrets, thank you very much, Doctor Shepherd," she answered, her voice cold. This was her attempt at hiding emotion. She did that, she pretended like she didn't care about things when in reality she was feeling the exact opposite. "I will see you later," she told him turning around and walking up the stairs. The fact that right now she was supposed to be working with Derek, completely slipping her mind.

This wasn't supposed to be happening. Derek had probably forgotten about her, never thought a single thing about her since they had last seen each other. It had been different for her though. Meredith had been reminded of him nearly every single day since the man had left her house years earlier. To him, it had been a one night stand. Emotionless, no string attached. Something that was supposed to be fun. Hot, meaningless sex. And it had seemed that it had been exactly that, for a while at least. But things had changed. Meredith had been forced to change. And here she was, years later and still the presence of the man she had slept with one drunken night, was constantly with her. Surprisingly though, she didn't regret it, despite the fact she could feel tears sting her eyes and she was heading up the stairs with no destination in mind. That one night she'd spent with Derek had given her the most important thing in her life. Even if she hadn't planned it, it had happened.

And every moment she was able to spend with her daughter, was the happiest of her life.


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith opened the car door and made her way up the stairs to her house. The door was unlocked and the instant she entered she was able to recognize one of the songs from "The Little Mermaid," blaring loudly from the living room. She smiled, "The Little Mermaid," was her daughter's favorite show. Well, for the last two weeks it had been and Meredith had found herself subconsciously humming the tune to this particular children's show on numerous occasions in the past fortnight.

"Mommy!" the little girl smiled as she ran into the foyer excitedly. Her dark brown curls fell on her shoulders and her blue eyes seemed to brighten the room the instant her presence was made.

Meredith looked at her daughter and realized she looked even more like Derek than she had let herself believe. Even the way she smiled, it reminded her of the man.

"Katie," Meredith returned, her voice matching her daughter's enthusiasm. "I missed you today," she said truthfully. The minute she had left Derek in the stairwell she had instantly felt the need to see her daughter. Katie was a reminder that everything Meredith had been through, everything she was sure would happen over the coming days, weeks and months, was worth it. Katie was her world and she hated that she wasn't able to spend as much time with her as she wanted.

"I missed you too, Mommy," the tiny brunette answered as her mother crouched down and embraced her daughter. Her soft voice comforted Meredith and the instant Katie wrapped her arms around her mom, to Meredith it felt like things would soon fall back into place. Things would soon go back to the way they had been. Maybe that wouldn't actually be the reality, but at least her daughter gave her the needed hope that things would end up okay.

As her daughter left her arms, she took a hold of her mother's hand. This seemingly simple gesture able to make Meredith smile.

The sound of the television had been switched off and a woman walked from their living room.

"Hi Sara," Meredith smiled, greeting the younger woman.

Sara had been Katie's babysitter for years now. In fact, the amount of time she ended up spending with her daughter made her more of a nanny than anything else. She picked her daughter up from kindergarten when Meredith wasn't able to leave the hospital and got her ready in the morning if Meredith had been forced to leave. Meredith did everything she possibly could to spend as much time with her daughter but Meredith never thought it was enough.

Meredith would often arrive home after a long day at work and find Katie already asleep in bed. She hated when she wasn't able to tuck her in and tell her that she loved her. On these nights she would often lie on her daughter's twin sized bed, her arms wrapped around Katie's body as she let herself fall asleep to the peaceful lullaby of even breaths that came from the tiny girl next to her.

"Hey," Sara replied, her voice reminding her of Izzie's. Sara had a similar personality too, optimism that made you almost believe it. She was a very glass half full person and that was the kind of person Meredith wanted her daughter to be exposed to. She didn't want Katie to grow up like she had, feeling as though she was unloved, broken. Alone. If Meredith wasn't able to spend all the time she wanted to with Katie, then she at least wanted someone all 'bright and shiny' to be there with her daughter.

"I made Katie dinner, I hope you don't mind. She was hungry and she said she couldn't wait," Sara explained happily.

"Oh, of course I don't mind," she said peeking at her watch. It was ten past eight and she would have to put her daughter to bed soon. She had been aiming to leave the hospital by five thirty but a trauma patient had been admitted and she had been forced to stay. "Sorry for taking so long. I'll be able to take Katie to kindergarten tomorrow morning," she told Sara.

"Yay!" her daughter yelled from beside her.

It made Meredith feel guilty, that something so simple as driving her daughter to kindergarten excited her so much. She really didn't do it enough and right there and then she made a silent promise with herself to do it more often. She didn't want her daughter to grow up feeling like she didn't know her own mother. Meredith loved her far too much to let that happen.

"Alright, great. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon then? Bye Katie," Sara said grabbing the bag she had left on the small table beside the door.

"Bye Sara," the little girl smiled happily as her friend left the house. "Mommy, I just membered something!" she said, her voice lighting up with excitement.

"Oh yeah? What did you remember?" Meredith asked.

"Stay right here. Don't move. Promise?"

"Promise," Meredith repeated. And with that, her daughter hurried out of the room.

Meredith dropped her large handbag on the chair beside her and waited for Katie to come back. She heard her tiny feet shuffle along the wooden floorboards and into the kitchen. Before long her daughter had returned back to the foyer, holding a piece of paper against her body.

"I made you this drawing. It's us; you and me and Sara," the girl explained, pointing to each figure on her drawing. Meredith took it from her daughter's hands and examined it closely, smiling at the bright picture her daughter had made for her.

"I love it," Meredith answered honestly. "You know where I'm going to put it? Right over here," she said placing the paper on the table, maneuvering it so it stood upright, on display for any one who walked into their house. "Now, when anyone comes in, they'll be able to see it."

Her daughter took a hold of her hand and pulled Meredith into the living room, sitting her down on the sofa as she clicked play on the DVD player. Meredith picked up the remote and turned down the volume.

"How was your day?" Meredith asked, pulling her daughter onto her lap.

"Great!" Katie exclaimed. "Sara let me draw and we even made a cake. I got to lick the spoon," she said proudly. "Do you want some? I'll go get you some!"

The small girl went to move off her lap but Meredith pulled her closer, tightening her grip on her daughter. She just wanted to sit here with her.

"I'll make sure I have some later, okay?"

"Okay," she replied sounding a little disappointed. "Was your day good, too?" her daughter asked innocently, completely delirious to the fact that Meredith's day had probably been the most stressful she had endured in the past months. Years even.

"It was... surprising," she eventually said. "Definitely surprising."

She looked down at her daughter. Katie's eyes suddenly looked tired and they hung heavy. It was obvious to Meredith that Katie was tired and yet, she was still trying to keep herself awake.

"That's good..." her voice was quiet.

"I think it's bed time," Meredith whispered softly.

Katie nodded in reply and held onto her mother's shoulders tightly. Meredith stood up and began her way up the stairs, carrying her daughter in her arms. The television was still on quietly but she decided she would just come back down later to turn that off.

They reached Katie's bedroom and Meredith gently rested her daughter on the bed, pulling the covers down before she did so. She switched on the night light that was next to the bed and kissed Katie on the cheek.

"Sweet dreams, Princess," she told her daughter who looked as though she would fall asleep any second now.

"Can you stay with me for a little bit? Please, Mommy?" her tiny voice barely audible.

Meredith sat next to her and then made herself comfortable next to her daughter, wrapping her arms around her body.

"I love you, Katie."

"I love you too, Mommy," Katie answered before letting her tired state pull her into a world of unconsciousness.

Katie was everything to Meredith. She was the reason she got out of bed in the morning and everything she did, she did for her. Her daughter had asked about her father in the past and Meredith never knew quite how to answer her innocent question. She usually answered by saying she had a mommy who loved her and that was all that mattered. Katie usually left it at that, completely satisfied with having the knowledge that her mother loved her. The fact that Meredith too, didn't really know the man who was her daughter's father never seemed to matter. It didn't seem to be such a major problem, they had each other and that was all that mattered. But now. Now, the man Meredith had kicked out of her house five years ago had showed up at her hospital. He was her boss. Freaking Head of Neuro and it freaked her out.

What was she supposed to do? She was going to be working with the man, she'd be forced to see him every day and he was completely delirious to the fact that she had a daughter at home who shared his DNA. She couldn't just go right out there and tell him. "Oh hey, Derek. Remember that time when we were both really drunk and we had sex? Well, I got pregnant and now have a four year old daughter at home!" She didn't really think that would go down too well. But she also didn't think she would be able to keep her daughter a secret from him. That would just be cruel. Unfair and cruel. When all she had known was the man's first name, that had been fine. But he was her boss now. Doctor freaking Shepherd. With his dreamy smile and his stupid, perfect hair. She couldn't pretend like he didn't exist, because seeing him, facing him again, it made him real. Circumstances were dramatically different to how they had been five years ago and she had no idea what she should do.

The truth would come out at some point, Meredith was sure of that much.

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**A/N:** Thank you so much to those of you who reviewed or added this story to your alerts list! That's what gives me the motivation to keep writing! Well, I hope you're still interested and again, reviews would be appreciated for this chapter. Thanks :]


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Just thought I would quickly make it clear that I have no idea about how basically any medical procedures go down, especially neurosurgeries, so if I mention something that doesn't seem quite right, just please go along with it. The procedure mentioned in this chapter I just found using google and didn't really even understand what it was. I only mentioned the name of it but if it's something totally strange, please pretend like it makes some sense. Anyway, give me your thoughts on this chapter in general, I LOVE feedback. :]

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Meredith sighed, thinking of how excited Katie had been as she drove her to kindergarten earlier that morning. She usually loved seeing her daughter's face light up in excitement and listen to her chatter away about the things that filled the four year olds mind, like she had this morning. But this time, it had only made her ache. The simple task of driving her daughter to school shouldn't be such a novelty. It shouldn't be something that happened so rarely that it made her daughter as excited as she would be if they were going to Disneyland. As much as she tried to plan her work schedule around her daughter, Meredith still felt like she was missing out on the little things that to children, mean the most. And she hated knowing that.

Meredith had grown up, her mother absent and her father only a figure of the few memories that she had managed to hold on to. Katie didn't deserve that. She deserved everything but that. To Meredith, she was her perfect little girl who deserved everything that Meredith was able to give her. She deserved a mother who she could rely on to be there when she needed it. She needed someone who she could confide in when she felt like the world's pressure was resting on her shoulders alone. Katie needed her mom and Meredith was determined to make sure that Katie got the childhood, the upbringing, the mother that Meredith had been deprived of in the past.

Placing her things in her locker, she jumped. Pulled from her thoughts by the vibration against her hip. She looked at her pager and sighed. It was Derek. Doctor Shepherd. She had managed to avoid him yesterday but she knew she wouldn't be able to do that forever. She was going to have to face him at some point and now seemed as good a time as any.

She made her way from the resident locker room, down the busy hallway, past the nurses station and to the consult room Doctor Shepherd had paged her to. He was outside waiting and when he saw Meredith making her way towards him he smiled. One of those breathtakingly perfect smiles of his that were becoming all to familiar in Meredith's opinion.

"Good morning, Doctor Grey," he greeted as she approached him, her hands deep in her pockets.

"Morning," Meredith replied attempting a smile. "You paged?"

"I did. I've got a ventriculostomy in an hour and I was wondering if you wanted to join me?"

Meredith was stuck. She could say yes and end up spending hours in surgery with him. She knew they wouldn't even talk all that much, but even being in the same room as the man, knowing she was keeping something that was so important to her, that could possibly be as important to him, seemed far too stressful. But the board was quiet and Doctor Shepherd was the best. If she wanted to be the best, then she would need to learn from the best.

"Ah, um... Actually, I have a lot of paperwork I should be catching up on," Meredith ended up saying, deciding that avoiding Derek would be her best option. There would be plenty of other surgeries that she'd be forced to scrub in with Doctor Shepherd on and so she wasn't going to voluntarily do so. Not just yet at least. "Thanks though," she said before she went to turn around.

She felt Derek's hand on her shoulder and with the instant contact, she froze before turning back around to face him.

"Why do I get the feeling you're avoiding me?" Derek dropped his hand from her.

Had she been that obvious? Of course she had. She had been attempting to hide from the man since she had first saw him in the Chief's office.

"I'm not avoiding you... I have paperwork that needs my attention. I've fallen way behind. Seriously behind. So far behind that I'm actually opting to go do the paperwork instead of scrubbing into a surgery with you," she started rambling. "Which is completely unlike me because I love surgery. Really love it. Which if you knew me, you would know... but you don't. Know me that is. But-"

"Meredith." Derek thankfully cut her off.

Meredith silently cursed at herself. Stupid rambling. Stupid man that had her rambling.

"It's OK. If you have things you need to do, then that's fine."

"I do, I have other things I need to do," she lied.

"I just thought you'd want to scrub in. Show me what you could do," Derek smirked.

"Thanks anyway." And with that she turned and started her retreat back down the hallway.

She did want to scrub in. She did want to show the Head of Neuro that she was fully capable of becoming a great neurosurgeon. That she was a great surgeon. Because he didn't know. He didn't know the extent of her talents and as the head of the department, she wanted to make it clear that when she finished her residency she would become one of the best. She knew she could and with the guaranteed attention that Doctor Shepherd was sure to bring to Seattle Grace's Neuro department, it only made her believe it even more when she thought about the opportunities and rare cases that would come their way.

She stopped in her tracks and turned back around. Doctor Shepherd was still standing there and she quickly walked back.

"I changed my mind. The paperwork can wait. Surgeries at ten, right?" she asked quickly.

"Ten. OR three." he answered happily.

"OK, great." Meredith replied nodding.

"I'd be pushing it if I asked you to dinner, wouldn't I?"

He just wasn't going to give up, was he?

"Doctor Shepherd, you're being inappropriate!"

"You're right, sorry. Surgery _and_ a date! What was I thinking!?" he replied back, obviously teasing her.

"You're like my boss," she started. "You _are_ my boss!"

"I'm your sister, I'm your -"

"I'll see you in OR three, Doctor Shepherd," Meredith cut him off, a small smile tugging at her lips as she once again turned and walked away.

Derek watched the blonde who he had become surprisingly infatuated with since seeing her the day earlier, hurry down the hallway, moving past the doctors and nurses that scattered the hospital corridors. He wasn't sure what is was about her that made him so insistent on the idea that she go out with him. She wasn't interested in him. Well, if she was she certainly wasn't showing it. But he wasn't ready to give up, not yet at least.

* * *

Meredith pushed the shopping cart down the cereal aisle, checking the items that she had already found off the list that she had mentally created for herself. She had gotten out of surgery a few hours earlier and surprisingly enough, it hadn't been all that bad. The surgery had gone smoothly and once they had closed up, they'd had a brief conversation. Nothing personal, simply about the successful surgery that they had just performed together. Since then though, Meredith hadn't seen Derek. She had other patients to check on and so did he and before Meredith knew it she was leaving the hospital and heading home.

"Mommy, I don't like the cereal we have at home," Katie stated matter of factly, her eyes browsing the shelves in front of her.

"You liked it last week," Meredith answered, remembering how her daughter had decided she was going to eat only the fruity cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

"But I don't like it anymore. Please, can we get something different this time," her daughter begged.

"Let's finish off what we have at home before we buy something new, okay?"

It had happened all too many times, they'd end up with so many different boxes of cereal that they didn't have any space in the cupboard to put them in. It seemed every week Katie changed her mind about what it was she liked and disliked.

"But I really don't like it..." Katie answered. "It gets stuck in my tooths and then I can't get it out!"

Meredith looked over at her daughter who was walking beside her and saw Katie looking up at her, her big, blue eyes silently pleading.

"Please Mommy..." Katie asked once again.

"Fine," Meredith gave in, unable to resist her daughter as she stuck out her bottom lip. "But this time we actually have to finish the box before you go changing your mind again."

"Yay!" Katie smiled and stopped, carefully looking over the cereal boxes that were displayed on the shelf in front of her.

"Choose carefully, I mean it about finishing it this time," Meredith tried to sound stern. She knew her daughter had most likely inherited the whole mind changing, indecisive thing from her though and so she always found herself being a bit lenient when it came to things like this.

She was almost certain her daughter wasn't listening to her as she had hurried off a few meters ahead. Meredith watched as she picked up a box and began to follow the maze that was plastered on the cardboard with her finger, completely in her own little world.

"Meredith!"

At the sound of her name she turned around to the familiar voice and stood there, speechless and wide eyed.

"Derek! I mean Doctor Shepherd," she managed to exclaim.

"So this is what you blew me off for? Grocery shopping," he shook his head.

Seeing Derek outside the hospital and in plain clothes made him look even more attractive, if that was even possible. He was just so, so... What the hell was she thinking? Her daughter was only a few meters away. The daughter who Derek Shepherd had no idea existed even though he had definitely played his part in creating her. And all she could think about was how good the man looked.

"See, fate clearly wants you to go out with me," he said smiling.

"Coincidence..." Meredith muttered, trying to figure out an escape route.

"Mommy, can we get this one?" Katie walked up to the two paying no attention to the man who was standing opposite her mother. "You can play the maze on the back when you eat," her daughter explained with much enthusiasm.

Meredith could feel Derek's eyes dart from her to her daughter and then back to her again.

"Ah, sure," Meredith answered quickly.

"Mommy?" Derek asked, a confused smile evident on his face.

"This is Katie. Katie, this is Doctor Shepherd," Meredith forced herself to say. She couldn't tell him now, this was not the right time. No where near the right time.

"You can call me Derek," he answered as the little girl hid behind her mother's legs and only poked her head out to look at him.

Derek instantly noticed her eyes. Big and blue and staring right at him. Meredith hadn't mentioned a daughter but then again he hadn't really given her the time, with him being so persistent in his attempt to get her to date him, she hadn't exactly had the chance. Her angelic features where what he noticed next. They were like Meredith's. She was a spitting image of what Derek imaged Meredith to have looked like at that age, other than the full head of dark curls that flowed loosely past her shoulders. He assumed this was a trait inherited by her father, who ever that was.

"Hi Doctor Derek," she greeted quietly.

"Doctor Shepherd works with me at the hospital, Princess," Meredith explained.

Katie nodded and moved from her hiding place behind her mothers legs and into the open. Derek looked at her and smiled, trying to figure out how old the girl could be. Four or five he guessed. He didn't think she would be any older than that. When he had slept with Meredith all those years ago, there had been no signs of a baby living in her house. There had been no way she would have had a daughter back then when they had both ended up having a night full of loud, drunken sex in her living room. She hadn't had a daughter then. But she had a daughter now.

"We should go..." Meredith said quietly taking the cereal box from her daughter's hand, putting it in the cart and taking a hold of her hand. She squeezed her daughter's hand tightly and looked at Derek.

An obvious look of confusion had set in and his eyes were now set on Katie. Set on the daughter that Meredith had not wanted to tell him about. Not now at least.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Doctor Shepherd." And with that Meredith quickly made her way down the cereal aisle and to the check out, pulling her daughter along with her.

Derek stood there, unable to move as a thought settled in. Katie couldn't be... No, she just couldn't. He wasn't even going to think it. It was crazy. He was thinking crazy, this was just crazy. Meredith would have told him if Katie was... He couldn't wrap his head around the idea. And he didn't need to, because it wasn't true, he kept telling himself that. It couldn't be true.

"Mommy, we didn't get any milk," Katie whined, her small legs tired from the walking they had done around the supermarket.

"We'll get some tomorrow," Meredith answered, completely not caring about whether or not they had milk. She had bigger concerns on her mind.

"I need milk on my cereal!" Katie's voice had grown louder and a tantrum was not something Meredith wanted to deal with right now. She _couldn't_ deal with it right now. But going back into the supermarket where she had left Derek was also something she was unwilling to do. "I want to do my maze!" Katie wasn't spoiled and she wasn't one to throw tantrums regularly. However, she was tired and with a tired four year old, you learnt to expect anything.

"We can have toast," she explained, setting her daughter up in the booster seat she had in the back seat of her car. "Or pancakes," she changed her mind, knowing that pancakes would sound much more appealing to her daughter who was now about to burst into tears over cereal.

"Pancakes?" her daughter asked quietly, blinking back the tears that were about to fall.

The small girl smiled as Meredith clicked her seat belt tight.

"I love pancakes," she said happily.

Meredith sighed, thankful that she wasn't going to have to deal with her daughter crying all the way home.

"I know you do," Meredith answered sitting in the front seat and putting the keys into the ignition.

Katie sat happily in the back as her mother turned on the radio, an attempt to distract herself from the worries that were filling her head. There was no use though, there was no escaping this and she knew it. Maybe, Derek wouldn't realize that Katie was ultimately the product of their one-night stand. Maybe the thought wouldn't even cross his mind. But what if it did? She had planned to tell him at some point, she had already decided that. She hadn't set a date for it or anything, but she had been determined to tell him eventually. Right now though, he was basically a stranger to her. He was probably a good guy, she knew that. He was witty and charming and painfully dreamy. But still, she didn't know him. And she didn't want him to know about her daughter if it was only going to end up hurting them both.

He probably wouldn't even want anything to do with her if she told him, she continually reminded herself. He probably wouldn't want to see Meredith or her daughter again and she was willing to accept that. But what the hell was going to happen if the rare chance of him wanting to be apart of her Katie's life became a reality. What was Meredith going to do then? She was her mother and it had just been the two of them since Katie had been born and she was afraid to even let herself think about that changing. Meredith had convinced herself that wouldn't become an issue though. There was no use stressing about something that wouldn't even happen.

The issue she had to worry about now, was actually telling him in the first place.

* * *

**A/N:** So, what do you think? The next update may take me a little longer to get up here as I have a particularly busy schedule the coming weeks. Sorry about that! But reviews, comments and feedback definitely motivate me to write quicker! Thanks to everyone who reads this and I hope I still have your interest :]


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Sorry this took me so long. I actually only finished it about an hour ago. And right now, it's about four am. So, what you read may or not make sense. I'm not entirely sure... But this has seriously been the only time I have found time to write. And I really, really wanted to update and give you guys something :] It turned out to be my longest chapter so far though, so that's something at least. I'd also like to say a special thanks to protego-totalum88 for giving me some reasurance with some ideas and making me feel like what I have in store for this fic won't be total crap.

Reviews would make me smile. And I've been painfully busy, and sick. So, smiling would be nice.

* * *

Meredith had carried out the rest of the previous afternoon with an aim for achieving that of normalcy, for both Katie and her own sake. It had proven to be a difficult task, but she had done it. She had done it. She had made it through unpacking the groceries, she'd managed to get Katie in the bath, get her fed and then get her to bed, all the whilst trying to absorb herself in the light conversation that her daughter created about various topics. Did she think Unicorns existed? How many days till Halloween? Thanksgiving? Christmas? Could they go ice-skating the coming weekend? She had done her best to listen, to answer. To tell her that if she believed there were Unicorns, then so did she. That counting down the days to the Holidays would only make them seem further away then they really were. And that she would think about it and if time allowed, and if she was a really good girl, then maybe they could go ice-skating.

Derek didn't know. How the hell could he possibly know just like that? Just by seeing her. He couldn't. It was impossible. He couldn't know. The look that had appeared on his face, said otherwise though. He so knew and Meredith didn't have a freaking clue about what to do. Tell. Don't tell. Run. They could always run. Just pack up and leave. Except that wouldn't really work, where would they go? And on top of that, that was just crazy. Now she was thinking crazy. Great. Really, really great. She was stressing out, weighing the pros and cons of either going into work tomorrow and facing Derek or standing out in the rain in an attempt to get pneumonia. Maybe he didn't know, she found herself repeating again. She just had to calm down. Calm down and save the stressing till she knew for sure. Save the sick days till she knew for sure.

Once the even rhythm of Katie's rising and falling chest made it clear she had fallen to sleep, Meredith carefully maneuvered herself off her daughter's bed and out of the room, careful not to wake her. She walked down the hallway, the cool floorboards sending an unwelcome shiver up her spine. And then she cried. She had barely made it into her bedroom and she cried. And not just a single, lonesome tear. She really cried. Bawled her eyes out, cried. She sunk to the floor, wedging herself in the gap between her bed and the wall. She pressed her back against the side of the mattress and pulled her legs close to her chest. Tears fell from her eyes uncontrollably, staining her rosy cheeks. She couldn't breath. Right now, she felt like she couldn't breath. She felt like all the oxygen in the room had been sucked out. Sucked out to feed the growing list of complications that she was sure were to arise. She gulped for air. Anything. And she shook. She literally trembled with fear. The fear of tomorrow. The fear of what Derek might know. She was scared. She was so freaking scared, it was painful. Scared, fearful of the unknown. Of what might happen tomorrow and in the days that would follow.

"Mommy?"

And she had air.

Meredith quickly released her legs, turned and looked over her bed and to her daughter's silhouette that stood in the door frame between her room and the hallway. She quickly wiped her tears from her eyes, embarrassed, ashamed that her daughter had seen her like this. Had seen her so weak. Her daughter's tiny legs ran across the floorboards and she sat down in a heap next to Meredith. She wrapped her arms around her mom and Meredith breathed. She could breathe. Katie gave her the oxygen she needed to breathe. Katie was her everything and as long as she had her, things would be alright. Wouldn't they?

"Why are you sad, Mommy?" Her voice held such innocence, such sincerity despite having no knowledge on the topic.

"I'm fine," Meredith managed, choking back tears.

Her answer mustn't have satisfied Katie as Meredith felt her tighten her embrace and whisper words of comfort quietly into the air. _It's okay, Mommy. Stop crying. It's okay._

"I'll be good. I promise."

Her words made Meredith's heart feel as though it might literally break. She thought she was crying because of her? She thought she was crying because of her.

"Katie, you're perfect. I'm not sad because of you..." Meredith told her honestly, pulling from her grip and looking her daughter in the eyes. "It isn't your fault I'm crying." How could she explain why she was crying to a four year old? She couldn't.

"Then why are you sad?" Katie asked, tilting her head to the side. Her crystal blue eyes still sparkling despite the dim light of the room.

Meredith took a deep breath. "Grown up things. I'm better now though. I'm better now that you're here." Meredith took a hold of her tiny hand and smiled at the warmth her soft skin provided.

"Do you need me to sleep with you tonight?" Katie asked because it was what her mother always asked her when she was upset over something and by morning, everything was always better.

"I... I would like that very much."

* * *

Derek sat behind the desk in his new office. He sat in the new chair and stared at the walls that still seemed new to him, the only familiarity being his medical school diploma, which he had hung on the wall adjacent to his desk. Even the way he felt sitting at his desk seemed different. It seemed so strange. This was it, his _new _life. He was in a city that was still new to him, working in a new hospital and working around people who were different. Different and new. Different. It was what he had wanted, wasn't it? He had wanted something, anything... everything to be different. It had seemed so desirable. It had appeared to him like that one, special prize you worked so hard for, yet you always missed out on winning. Only he had been able to grasp it. He'd take a chance and here he was. He had managed to attain the new life. The different life. Somewhere where nobody knew him. Now though, the shiny, gold trophy was already starting to dull.

Maybe change was overrated. Initially, when he had fled New York that had been what he had wanted. Change. It didn't seem so desirable now. Things were fine as they were right now though, weren't they? They were. They were. He was willing to sit there for the next hour and consistently repeat that till it sounded even half believable. Only he couldn't. He couldn't believe that things were fine. He couldn't believe things were fine, when everything in his new, different life was holding more surprises then he had prepared himself for.

Meredith walked from room three twenty-one after just assessing a newly admitted patient's condition. She fidgeted with the stethoscope that hung around her neck, her fingers playing with the neck of the common piece of medical equipment. She walked to the nurses station and pulled her pen from her pocket. Clicking the pen, she was ready to add some additional information to one of her patient's charts.

"Doctor Grey."

She turned sharply to face the one person who she had been planning on avoiding today. That had been her plan, avoidance. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, when she had come up with it whilst brushing her teeth at five thirty in the morning. Now though, not so much.

"Doctor Shepherd." The words came out in a heavy breath as she released the incredibly large amount of air she had apparently inhaled on a subconscious level moments earlier.

"I was hoping to talk to you sometime today," he stated simply.

Meredith's eyes darted from Derek, to the chart she had resting on the bench beside her, searching. Searching for an excuse. Surgery!

"I'm actually about to go into surgery. Really, really soon. Like now," Meredith said with a nod as she clutched the chart close to her chest.

"I checked the board. Didn't see anything up there that would have any interest to you," Derek answered sharply.

"Well, I'm interested in a lot of things you don't know about. And I_ am_ scrubbing in." Her avoidance plan had been shot and was now slowly, slowly, painfully bleeding out.

"Meredith, please?" Something in his voice changed and Meredith gave in.

Her original plan of avoidance had just officially died.

"Could you meet me in my office in a half hour?" Derek asked.

Meredith nodded and then he walked away. He walked away, this time leaving her standing to watch as he merged into the ongoing traffic of the hospital corridors.

* * *

Meredith picked at her fries. She wasn't hungry. She was supposed to be meeting Derek in ten minutes and ten minutes right now, felt like ten days. Ten years. She was nervous. Panicking. Panicking with nerves.

"Why do you look like that?" Cristina asked bluntly.

"Like what?" Meredith looked at her best friend and wondered how she had managed to keep the identity of her daughter's father from her, even if he had only shown up a few days earlier.

"Like you're about to throw up the entire contents of your stomach."

She felt like that, she really did. "I'm not about to throw up," Meredith argued back weakly. Cristina had suggested that they should go outside, have a quick bite to eat almost after immediately after she had agreed to meet Derek and though, Meredith hadn't been hungry, she had agreed, hoping that it would allow her some space to clear her mind.

"You've been looking all weird for a week. All worried and... weird," Cristina explained, her arms folded as she lent back in her chair.

"I don't look weird." What was the point of even trying to have her believe it anyway? Meredith was sure she most likely did in fact look weird. She felt weird. Her life, right now, was weird.

"You do and you have ever since Doctor Shepherd came here. All weird and-"

"I'm fine!" Meredith interrupted. She so couldn't deal with this right now.

Cristina narrowed her eyes. "Oh, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Meredith stood up.

"You so did," Cristina shook her head.

"I... I have to go now," Meredith said before turning on her heal and walking back inside the hospital.

* * *

The door to Derek's office was open, Meredith could see as soon as she stepped off the elevator. She took a deep breath and continued walking. Continued walking even though she felt like she couldn't go any closer. And then she knocked on his door. Derek's eyes shot up from the papers they had been scanning and met hers.

"Meredith." His voice gave no clues to what he was feeling. What he was going to say to her. No indications what so ever. He motioned for her to enter and she did, shutting the door behind her and then hesitantly taking a seat opposite his.

They both sat there, neither of them saying a thing. Meredith avoided eye contact and found herself staring at her hands, whilst Derek just sat there. He just sat there and tried to figure out what he was going to say.

He had planned it already. What he was going to say. What he was going to ask. About Katie. About... He couldn't remember any of his original ideas. Nothing. He had no words. Right now, looking at Meredith, noticing how worried she looked, he was speechless. He hadn't meant to make her feel like this, he just wanted to talk. And to be honest, he was freaking out quite a bit right now, too. A lot actually. He couldn't push the thoughts of 'what if' from his head.

"Meredith," he said again, this time his voice far softer.

Meredith looked up and forced a quick smile. This was killing her. She didn't know what to say. What was she supposed to say in a situation like this? She had never, never thought she would ever be forced into this position. She had never even thought she would ever see Derek again. But here he was. Stupid Head of Neuro at Seattle Grace. At _her _hospital, in_ her_ city. In _her_ life.

"I wanted to ask you something..." his voice trailed off.

And here it comes... Meredith slowly nodded, unable to make actual words come from her lips.

Derek took a breath and slowly exhaled.

"Katie. You have a daughter..." he started.

Meredith once again averted any eye contact.

"She's your daughter and she's... How old is she?" he eventually managed to ask.

"How old is she?" Meredith's voice was quiet. She knew when she answered him properly, he would know for sure.

"How old is she?" Derek asked again, this time more firmly.

Meredith felt the familiar sensation of tears sting the back of her eyes and she closed her eyes shut.

"She's almost four and a half." Her words came out as almost a whisper. She didn't bother to open her eyes.

Derek put his elbows on the desk and rested his head in his hands. His head felt like it weighed one hundred pounds alone and he needed something to support it.

"Oh my god, Meredith," he mumbled into his hands, unable to meet her eyes with his. She didn't even need to say it, he already knew.

"I am so sorry," Meredith said quickly. "So sorry..."

Derek didn't say anything. He didn't even look at her. He couldn't look at her. This was just... just... unbelievable.

"I was going to tell you..." the words left her mouth quietly, slowly, like the tear that slid down her cheek in union.

"When Meredith?" he quickly pushed himself up and stood there. "When the fuck were you going to tell me?"

Meredith bit down on her lower lip, until she tasted blood. "I... I..."

"Were you _really_ going to tell me, Meredith? Or were you just going to wait and see if I figured it out on my own?" his voice raised louder and he buried his head in his hands, half facing Meredith.

This was not supposed to be happening, Derek thought. None of this was supposed to be happening. He wasn't supposed to see Meredith ever again and he wasn't supposed to find out... He couldn't even process it right now.

"Or better yet, were you just going to wait another ten, fifteen years and have her tell me?" he accused, running his hands through his hair as he paced to the other side of the room.

"I think... I think, I'll just leave," Meredith stood up from the chair and wiped her now wet cheeks. She couldn't let anyone see her like this. She _needed_ for no one to see her like this. Meredith took a few steps towards the door, intent on making her escape out of this room.

"No, wait," she heard Derek say, his suddenly voice much softer than how it had been only moments before.

Meredith's hand was touching the door handle and she was oh, so tempted to leave...

"Meredith..."

She dropped her hand and turned. She looked at him and only now noticed how tired he looked. His eyes were red, bloodshot and he had obvious dark rings under his eyes. He had clearly spent the whole night awake, worrying. She had at least managed to get some sleep. This was as hard on him as it was her. Maybe harder, she didn't know. She really didn't know what he was feeling right now.

"I didn't mean to yell at you like that," he apologized looking at her, falling once again into his seat. His head falling once again into his palms.

"Okay..." Meredith answered, unsure of what she should do right now. Take a seat again? Leave?

"It's just... Katie, I'm her Dad?" he breathed heavily.

"You don't have to be," Meredith found herself answering quickly.

"But biologically, I am?"

She only realized now he was asking her. He was asking her the question he had been pondering on. He still needed the actual conformation that what he suspected was true.

Meredith didn't move. She just stood there, for what felt like far too long. And then she slowly nodded her head. "Yes," she whispered.

Neither of them said anything. Derek looked around the room. Everything was new. This wasn't his life, was it? He would wake up tomorrow and everything would be normal, right? No. He knew it wouldn't happen. This... Well, this. It was his life.

"Don't worry though," Meredith said quickly.

Don't worry? 'Worry' was a fucking understatement.

"I mean, Katie doesn't know. And she doesn't have to. I won't tell her and you don't have to do anything. I don't expect anything and you can pretend _I _didn't even say anything. That's fine. It's up to you. I don't know what you want to do. If you don't want to look at me ever again, that's okay too. I'm not really sure how that would work exactly, but if you-" Her rambled freak-out was cut short.

"I just need to think." He looked at her and she nodded. He really needed to think. He needed to think and right now, he couldn't. Not properly. He was supposed to be working right now. They both were and this was... not working.

Meredith quickly turned and left his office, avoiding the glares of anyone who might notice the silent tears she was unable to hold back.

Talking to him now? So not a good idea.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, I hope that wasn't total three am, no sleep, pointless, gibberish crap. Let me know if it is. Or isn't.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Hi everyone :D Sorry to keep you all waiting, I'm hoping it will be worth the wait though. Reviews are what keep me going! I'd love to hear from all those who have put this fic on your alert list but haven't yet voiced your opinions, suggestions or comments!!

* * *

It was quiet on Derek's property on Bainbridge Island. The only sound to be heard was that of rain hitting the roof of his airstream trailer and then softly, gently trickling down the sides and onto the grass. It had been raining for four hours and forty-seven minutes now. And though it was now three am, Derek sat awake on a chair outside, protected from the rain by only a small, outer covering that the trailer provided, counting. He counted how long it had been raining, non-stop, continuously for. Four hours and forty-eight minutes. He couldn't sleep. Well, he had given up before even trying. He didn't want to sleep. A voice told him he needed to think, another told him to pretend. Pretend like this hadn't happened and pretend like it didn't matter. Pretend and forget. Neither options seemed enjoyable.

The rain crashed to the grass, falling down heavier and heavier. Stupid. Seattle. Rain. He usually liked it. The rain. Right now though, he didn't. He wanted to be anywhere but here. It had been a spontaneous decision. Moving here. He had barely given it any thought before he had jumped on a plane and was sitting in the Chief of Surgery's office, signing documents, at Seattle Grace Hospital. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. However, if he knew what Seattle had in store for him, he sure would have given his decision a second or third thought. He had left New York broken, shattered. Seattle was supposed to provide him with the quick escape, the ability to stitch all that he needed to mend. It wasn't going to be that easy though. Nothing ever was.

A father. He had always wanted to be one. He had always wanted a family. A big family, in fact. It was not supposed to happen this way though. He had been married. For eleven years he had been married. Married and wanting. Derek Shepherd had been married and had wanted a family for years. He was now divorced, wanting a fresh start and only now, finding out that there was a four year old, little girl on the other side of the country who shared his DNA. This was wrong. Everything was wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He didn't know what he thought or what he felt. He knew he couldn't ignore what he had just found out. Even though the thought had crossed his mind, he couldn't pretend like nothing was different. He wasn't like that. Everything _was_ different.

Katie. He had seen her for only a minute and yet, he could recall every single detail he had noticed about her. Her hair, her eyes. The features her and Meredith shared. Those that resembled his. He had a new respect for Meredith. How she had managed to juggle her career and raising a child alone, he didn't know. It seemed like she managed though. He wondered who knew. Who knew that he was the father to Doctor Meredith Grey's child? Initially, he figured that no one at the hospital knew. They hadn't shown any signs that they knew, or said anything to him. But what did he know? He had been working with Meredith and she hadn't said anything until today. And only after he had accidentally run into Meredith and Katie. He wondered if she would have told him if he hadn't. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

Derek had barely known her two weeks and he had already thought he had her all figured out. He had made his attempt to flirt with her, get her to date him and she had refused. He had figured her reasons had been strictly that of a professional manner, nothing else. Perhaps they were, he was her boss after all. He hadn't ever thought for a second that anything like this would in fact be the actual reason. The thought had never crossed his mind. Why would it? They had spent one night together five years ago, he had never even thought about what could have happened. When he had seen Meredith on his first day at work in Seattle, he had been surprised. Shocked. But still, it had been an exciting surprise. And even though he had barely spent any real time with her, he had a feeling about her. She was something different. Special. Someone he wanted to get to know and so his attempt to get her to date him had then began.

Meredith had basically let him off the hook. He could walk away, without any responsibility. Meredith had made it clear that she didn't expect him to want or feel the need to have any part in Katie's or her own life. It wasn't that simple for him. He couldn't walk away. He just couldn't. He would find it impossible not to wonder what could have happened. And he certainly knew he couldn't ignore the situation. He couldn't ignore Meredith and every time he saw her, he was sure he would be reminded of Katie, making it impossible to ignore her too. The main thing was though, he didn't _want_ to ignore the situation. He wanted to be able to see Meredith around the hospital and smile, have a civilized, normal conversation with her and he didn't want to wonder what could have happened when it came to Meredith and Katie. There would be no ignoring or avoidance. He didn't exactly know what he wanted, or what he was going to do, but he knew those two things.

It was a start at least.

* * *

Ice skating. That was all Katie wanted to talk about since Meredith had arrived home that previous evening. How much she wanted to go ice skating. How_ everyone _had been ice skating except her. How she had taken up the dream of becoming a professional ice skater. Meredith had eagerly engaged herself in their conversation over dinner. Spaghetti, one of the few meals she had learned to make over the years. Cooking wasn't her thing. It had never been, no matter how much she tried. Usually, she ordered take-out. Tonight though, cooking seemed like a better idea. She was using every thing she could think of as a distraction. A distraction from her conversation with Derek earlier today.

After putting Katie to bed, Meredith felt exhausted. Her day had been exhausting. She sat in the living room. The television was on though she paid no attention to what was on. She sat there. Thinking. Wondering. She had told Derek and he had known even before the words had left her lips. She had spent the last five years telling herself that it didn't matter if Katie grew up without her dad, as long as she had a mother who loved her more than anything. Meredith had hated her childhood, her father having abandoned her and her mother barely ever there. Of course, she didn't want that for her own daughter. And now that Derek was working with her, now that he was somehow, impossibly, in her life, it made her question everything she had been telling herself.

Eventually, she made her way to bed and fell asleep, letting her tired state overcome her.

* * *

Meredith's eyes glanced over the OR board. She couldn't see Derek's name up on the board anywhere, which gave her no help in discovering where it was she needed to avoid today.

"Anything good up there?" She heard her friends voice from beside her.

"Oh, ah... no," Meredith said quickly.

Cristina looked at her, watching Meredith scan the board again.

"What is up with you? Seriously, Mere?"

"What?" Meredith quickly averted her eyes from the board and focused her attention on Cristina. "Nothing. There is nothing wrong."

"There so is," Cristina's eyes narrowed in on her.

Meredith hesitated, weighing up her options. Tell. Don't tell. Cristina knew that Meredith hadn't known Katie's father for longer than one night. But now she did. Now they both knew him. Now he was probably down in OR three, cutting into somebodies brain and saving their life.

"Doctor Shepherd..." Meredith's voice trailed off. Tell.

"I knew it!" Cristina cut her off. "Ever since he started here you've been acting all weird. What did you do? Don't tell me you slept with him? You did, didn't you? Is he good? I mean, he looks like he would be good?"

So. Many. Questions.

Cristina was speaking far too loudly for Meredith's liking and she quickly hushed her.

"No, no. It isn't that. When... when do you think I would have time to sleep with him anyway?" Meredith retaliated.

Cristina stood there trying to examine her friends expression. She was obviously hiding something. And whatever it was, had Meredith in a way that she hadn't ever seen her before.

Suddenly, both their pages were beeping and they were pulling them from their hips. A trauma had just come in and the two immediately rushed down the corridor.

* * *

"Derek's sick." Meredith sunk into an empty seat opposite Cristina, who was eating lunch outside.

Meredith had overheard a second year resident complaining that he couldn't get Doctor Shepherd as a Neuro consult and she'd instantly cringed at the news. Great, just great. He was either so disturbed by what she had told him yesterday and couldn't even bare to see her or she had actually made him physically sick. They were both possibilities she didn't want to be the reality. Both possibilities she was sure could be totally, one hundred percent true.

"First name basis, are we?" Cristina smirked.

"Whatever." Meredith really couldn't deal with teasing of any type right now.

Meredith had honestly let herself feel the slightest bit of hope about the situation. She had actually let the thought that Derek might want to see Katie or at least her again, pass through her mind and now she felt stupid. She was stupid for letting herself believe that. Seriously. Just plain stupid.

"Meredith, whatever it is, just spit it out," her friend urged. "It's bothering me watching you sitting over there all depressed and worried."

"It's about Katie," Meredith managed to say quietly.

"Is she alright?" Cristina immediately asked, concern clearly evident in her voice.

"Yeah, she's fine. She's good." Meredith didn't know how to tell her best friend that Derek Shepherd was the father of her child, she really didn't have any idea.

"If I tell you this, you have to promise me you won't say anything. Or repeat any of what I say to anyone, okay?" Meredith's voice shook.

Cristina noticed how worried Meredith was now and she assured her that she wasn't going to tell anyone.

"It's about Katie's dad..." Her voice trailed off.

Cristina waited for her to continue.

"You see... I sort of met Derek, I mean Doctor Shepherd, a really long time ago-"

"Oh my god, Meredith." Cristina already knew where this was going.

"I didn't know who he was and then I never saw him again till he started here."

Meredith attempted to wait for Cristina to answer but she found the silence just too painful.

"Say something!"

"I- ah.... Does he know?" Cristina eventually manged. It certainly wasn't a lot of the time Cristina found herself lost for words, right now though, she did not know what to say.

"I told him yesterday and now he's sick. I made him sick..." Meredith sunk into her chair.

"He probably just needs to think, I mean... if I was him and found out a one-night stand from five years ago, who I now work with, was raising my kid, I'd sure need some time to think. I'd need to do a whole lot more than think, actually. I'd probably-"

"Not helping!" Meredith quickly said.

They both fell into silence.

"Look Mere, I don't know what to tell you," Cristina started. "But I'm here for you."

Those few words of comfort made Meredith somehow, feel a little bit better.

"I know."

"And you know-" Cristina's words were interrupted once again by her pager. "Damn it."

"I'm sure he probably is just taking a little time to think," Cristina said standing up. "Sorry but I have to go. I'll talk to you later though..."

Meredith didn't even look up.

"Meredith..." Her gaze finally rose. "It will be okay, okay?"

Meredith made a weak attempt at answering as Cristina headed back inside the hospital.

She'd told him. She'd even hoped and now he was sick. Sick and avoiding her, Meredith was sure.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm not really sure what I think of this one. It's more just a loop chapter, for things that are to come :]


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I feel absolutely terrible for leaving you all hanging like this and I am totally sure that having left this story for basically half a year will mean I have lost all my readers and reviewers. These past months have been hectic for me. I ended up in hospital, was out of the country for two months and moved houses. I know, I know, I shouldn't make excuses. But I do hope that maybe some of my original readers will still be interested and perhaps this chapter will interest a few more. Anyway, I am so sorry. I will definitely try a lot harder to update this fic more regularly!

* * *

Meredith used to dream about it, having a conventional family for Katie. A mom and dad, both there to watch her grow up. She'd have day dreams when she had been pregnant, wishing things could be different. There had been this one fantasy in particular that played out in her head; she'd be in the living room, a baby snuggled in her arms and then_ he'd_ walk in. Just a man, a figure she'd conjured in her own imagination and he'd kiss her and it was perfect. She'd shrug it off when she came back to reality, blame it on the hormones. She could do this without anyone. She could. By that stage of her pregnancy, the actual details of her baby's father were sketchy. It wasn't until Katie was born that every feature of Derek's face had been recalled back into her brain and she thought maybe, maybe some day something would change.

Every day had seemed to wear at that hope and Meredith had believed she was okay with it. That was, until now. Now she couldn't help but wonder. Though she had told Derek he didn't need to feel obligated, that he didn't need to feel as though he needed to be in their lives, she felt butterflies in her stomach every time she let herself think that maybe he wanted to be. She repeatedly told herself she was foolish for letting herself entertain such ideas. Who was she kidding? Things like that didn't happen. Not to her at least. And every time she had thought about the previous day, about Derek skipping out on work, she was only reminded of just how stupid she was for thinking things were going to change.

* * *

There were several things running through Meredith Grey's head as she made her way into work the next morning, each and every thought revolving around Derek, Katie and the last few days. Meredith pulled her hair back, tying it into a messy ponytail as she walked through the hospital corridors and onto the elevator. Her hands dug deep into her pockets and she lent against the back wall, once she had clicked the numbered button. For a moment she let herself shut her eyes and breathe. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen. She couldn't change anything. Derek knew and it was up to him to decide what was to come next. If he wanted to get to know Katie, then they could work something out. If he wanted nothing to do with her, then things could just go back to normal. She'd attempt to forget about it, and she'd never mention it again.

Either way would be fine. Whatever happened would be okay. It would be-

'Crap,' Meredith instantly thought as the silver doors opened.

"Meredith," Derek voiced, unable to hide the hint of surprise in his voice.

They both had known they were going to run into each other sooner or later, they'd both just had their hopes set on the later.

"Derek," Meredith stood up straight.

The doors shut, leaving them both alone in this tiny space. Neither of them said anything for a few moments, standing next to each other in a state of silence.

"I'm glad I ran into you, actually," Derek said, turning his head to Meredith.

Meredith looked at him, her mouth half open as if she were going to say something. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure what to say.

"I know this isn't a good time to talk, but I would really like to later. If you could make time," Derek explained calmly.

"Yeah, I ah... I could make time," Meredith nodded her head. "I get off at four." She made sure she started her day early so she could get home as early as possible.

"Coffee?" The doors opened and Derek took a few steps away.

"Coffee?" She repeated. He gave her no time to think about an answer.

"Coffee at four, I'll meet you in the lobby," he answered, with a small smile imprinted on his lips.

"Okay," was all Meredith could say, before he had begun his descent down the corridor and she was left to ride the next two flights alone.

That had gone well, Meredith assured herself. He had seemed well and calm and nothing at all like she was feeling right now. He wanted to meet with her, meet with her for coffee and talking. Talking and coffee. That was good, right? Right. This would be fine.

* * *

The next nine and a half hours went by far quicker than expected. Derek had been pulled into two emergency surgeries and had ultimately, saved two lives. He was in a good mood. Unfortunately though, that good mood was tested when he looked at his watch. It was four fifteen and he was still in his scrubs. Quickly, he changed and made his way down to the lobby.

His eyes glanced over the room. It wasn't crowded but it certainly wasn't empty. His eyes landed on a figure sitting on a chair on the far side of the room, hair falling over Meredith's face as she did something on her phone. Derek made his way over to her, feeling unsettlingly nervous. This was important. A heck of an important cup of coffee.

"Sorry, I got caught up in surgery," Derek apologized when he had reached her.

Meredith lifted her head from the small screen, and put it into her handbag.

"Don't worry about it, I understand," she said standing up.

Derek looked at her. Dressed in a tight pair of black pants and a denim jacket, she looked beautiful. Beautiful and nervous.

"There's a cafe just down the road," Meredith said quickly, increasingly aware of Derek's eyes on her.

"Oh, okay. Great," he cleared his throat and turned, Meredith walking next to him.

It had taken barely five minutes for the two to reach the store. It flowed with people, chatting and cherishing their afternoon cups of coffee. They found a table outside, both appreciatively aware of the nice weather. They both ordered their drinks, Meredith nervously picking at her sleeves. Derek watched her, there was no use dragging this out. He could tell how nervous Meredith was. She probably was sitting in a complete state of painful wonderment and he didn't want to make her feel any more uncomfortable than she probably already was.

"I've been thinking," Derek started.

Meredith lifted her head, her eyes meeting the deep pools of blue that were his. She let him continue.

"I know you said that nothing has to change, but to tell you the truth, there is no way I can just ignore what you told me. I don't _want_ to ignore what you told me." He'd imagined that when he was to say this, it would be hard and honestly, it was. It felt good, though and that made him smile just a little bit.

"You don't?" Meredith had shock written all over face.

"I don't," Derek smiled.

Meredith sat there, trying to process exactly what this was that he was saying.

"Okay," she eventually answered, after what felt like an eternity to Derek.

What did this mean? Meredith didn't know.

"So, I have a proposition to make. I want to see Katie, spend some time with her. Hopefully, get to know her," he explained. "And you. I want to get to know you, too."

Derek could tell Meredith was completely overwhelmed and after waiting for her to say something, he quickly gave up.

"That is if you'll let me?" he asked. Meredith could hear it, a layer of uncertainty in his voice. Of course she would let him. He was Katie's father and if he wanted to see her, then she felt like she couldn't deny him of that basic privilege.

Meredith nodded, the corners of her lips tugged up ever so slightly. "Of course," Meredith answered. She didn't know what to feel. Or think for that matter. In this exact moment, she wasn't even sure if she could remember to breathe properly. This was... It was unbelievable and she truly didn't know how to react.

"Ah, um... What do you want me to tell her?" Meredith suddenly wondered.

"That's up to you." Derek had put a lot of thought into this and he didn't want to push Meredith at all. She could treat this situation however she wanted to.

"I could just tell her that you're my friend or something," Meredith thought out loud.

"That'd work." Derek was in about as much shock as Meredith. Despite having fully thought out everything he wanted to say and eventually happen, it was strange to hear him actually voicing it. Actually _wanting _it.

"Well, okay. I... I don't know what to say," Meredith's eyes met the floor and she ran a hand through her hair. She'd taken it out before she had met with Derek. Letting her hair hang loose on her shoulders, she'd for some reason wanted to look nice for him.

"You don't have to say anything; I just wanted you to know. And-" They were interrupted by the shrill sound of Derek's beeper. Of course that had to happen, it just had to.

Derek read the screen and sighed, "I am so sorry, Meredith," he said.

"No, it's okay. Go, I understand," Meredith answered with a small nod of her head.

Derek looked at her apologetically and then opened his wallet, putting some money on the table.

"I'll talk to you later." And with that, he left her.

Meredith sat there, in a complete state of sated shock. She couldn't move, she could barely breathe. She just sat there, letting the coffee in front of her go cold.

* * *

Derek felt indescribable. He had spent the entirety of the previous day thinking. Weighing out all the options and in the end had come to one conclusion; Katie was his daughter. No matter what he chose to do, she would always be biologically connected to him. He wouldn't forget it and if he chose the impossible task of ignoring it, then he knew he would be forever plagued with the question of 'what if?'

He couldn't live with that. If he did that, he couldn't live with himself. He was Katie's father and that was never going to change. And though it scared the hell out of him and this was never how he imagined it to be, he wanted to act like one. He wanted to be a father and now, Meredith was giving him the opportunity to be. There was no way he would be able to work with Meredith if he decided to turn his back against Katie and her life. Meredith didn't deserve that. She was sweet and caring, that much was evident and he wanted to be there for her or at least see where his relationship with them both would go.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **I tried to make this chapter nice and long, in an attempt to make up for my lack of updates and to try and move this story along. I don't really want to rush things, though I am sure many of you are anticipating Meredith and Derek to get together soon. And they will, I promise! Hopefully though, you'll enjoy this chapter as it is a pivotal point in this story and it's nice and happy, unlike a certain season final :| Oh and, you will be finding out more details regarding Derek's past in the chapters to come. As always, reviews are very much appreciated.

* * *

The following day, Meredith had the morning off. It was Saturday and Meredith was happy to be spending her morning with Katie. Though, she had to be at the hospital in the afternoon, she was pleased with her work hours this weekend. She would be working tonight, and making her way back home early tomorrow morning. Despite, the sure tiredness that was bound to overwhelm her, she'd avoid sleep in order to do something with her daughter. She generally tried to get weekends off, but a lot of the time she would end up being paged in. This weekend she was going to take advantage of the spare time she had.

Meredith stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as she worked her way through a bowl of cereal. Katie sat at the kitchen table, coloring in her favourite book.

"Mommy, do you know where the brown one is?" she said after searching through the crayon box thoroughly.

"If it isn't there, you'll have to check if it's in your room. Maybe it's in your school backpack?" Meredith suggested.

A light went off in Katie's head and she quickly jumped off her chair and ran out of the room. Meredith assumed something she'd said must have rung a bell. Meredith picked up Katie's empty bowl and put it in the dishwasher.

Meredith had been up late last night, thinking about the events of the previous day. She couldn't believe it, really. What were the chances? Derek starting work at Seattle Grace, him wanting to spend time with Katie. It didn't feel real.

Katie quickly rushed back into the room, clutching the missing brown crayon and a blue one that she must have found.

"Found it," Katie said aloud as she put her head back down and continued with her coloring.

"Katie, I was meaning to ask you something," Meredith began after a few moments, sitting down opposite her daughter.

"Kay," Katie mumbled without raising her head from her book, an intense look of concentration marking her face.

"Well, you know I am not working tomorrow, I was thinking we could do something special?"

Katie looked up, "like what?"

"That's up to you, what do you feel like?"

Katie thought about it for a moment, before a smile turned up her lips.

"Please mommy, ice skating. Can we, please?" Katie begged, stretching her 'pleases.'

Meredith almost cringed, she didn't like ice skating. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been on ice and there was a reason for that. But she held that back, Katie had been asking for a while now.

"Well, alright. If you're sure that's want you want?"

"I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure," Katie sang in a pleased voice. "Thanks Mommy," she grinned and once again she was quiet, her eyes glued to her colorful work.

* * *

"Good afternoon," Derek approached her as she stood hunched over the nurse's station, updating some charts.

"Hi," Meredith answered, turning around.

Derek looked extremely happy today, his lips turning into a smile.

"How are you?" he asked casually.

"I'm fine," Meredith answered, her cheeks tugging at a smile. "Great, actually."

She was in a good mood, too. She had spent her day with Katie, and she'd finally convinced herself that no matter what happened everything would be OK. Derek was a good guy, right? This would be fine. It might be a little weird at first, but nothing that she couldn't get used to.

"That's good. Are you busy tomorrow?" he asked forwardly.

"Uh, I am. Sor-" she stopped herself midway. She entertained the idea for a moment, before continuing. "Katie wants to go ice skating, so I'm taking her. You can come if you like," Meredith said as she put her head down to focus on the charts once more, trying to sound as nonchalant as she could, despite feeling increasingly nervous.

She couldn't see the smile that spread over Derek's features, as she fake concentrated on the charts but when he answered, she felt a surge of relief.

"I would love to," Derek answered genuinely. He hadn't expected Meredith to act on what he had asked so soon. This was completely unexpected. She had spent her time attempting to avoid him since he had started at Seattle Grace and now, here she was inviting him to go out with her and Katie. This was definitely a good sign.

"Well, okay great," Meredith said sounding surprised, even though he had been the one to initially say he wanted to get to know Katie.

"I'll give you my number," he said leaning over the nurse's station and taking a piece of spare paper. Tearing off a thin line at the end, he wrote his number and handed it to Meredith, who quickly put it in her pocket. "Call me tomorrow."

"Ok, thanks. I will," she suddenly felt nervous again.

Derek smiled, his eyes meeting Meredith's and he thought for a moment that he could see her blushing.

"I have to go, I've got patients to check on," Meredith explained quickly.

"Ok," Derek answered simply. "I'll talk to you later." And with that he walked away, leaving Meredith feeling... She wasn't quite sure how she felt, actually. Nervous... Excited, maybe?

* * *

Meredith crept into her house, it was just after six am and Katie and Sara, the nanny, would still be asleep. Meredith made her way up the stairs, checking quietly on Katie before heading to her own bedroom. She slid off her jeans and threw on some more comfortable leggings, before curling up into bed.

She managed to get almost four hours of sleep before Katie rushed into her room, waking her.

"Mommy!" she said excitedly. "Wake up."

Meredith sat up, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the uncomfortably bright room.

"Good morning," Meredith smiled, silently acknowledging how hard it would have been for Sara to keep Katie out of her room for so long.

"Ice skating today!" Katie basically screamed.

Meredith laughed quietly, she was now officially awake.

"Look Mommy, I practiced!" she exclaimed before backing away from the bed and kicking her leg back in the air.

"That's great, Katie."

Meredith continued to watch her daughter as she spun around on one foot.

"Can I ask you something, Princess?" Meredith said once Katie had finished showing her what she had practiced and had jumped up next to her on her bed.

"Okay," Katie said tilting her head to one side, with a smile.

"Is it okay with you if someone comes ice skating with us?" Meredith asked. She didn't want Katie to be upset with Derek if he came, and she certainly didn't want him coming without telling Katie first.

"Sara?" Katie asked.

"No, not Sara. One of mommy's friends, you met him before. Remember Derek, my friend from the hospital?" Meredith asked.

"Doctor Derek!" Katie immediately exclaimed.

"Is it okay if he comes?"

Katie nodded, "yep."

"Okay, good. I'm going to have a shower and get dressed and I will meet you downstairs, okay?"

Katie nodded again and jumped off the bed, before skipping out of the room.

Meredith smiled to herself. This would be a good day, she told herself.

Getting out of bed she found the jeans she had left on the floor and picked them up, taking out the scrunched slip of paper Derek had given her the previous day.

She looked at the number for a moment, feeling the butterflies return that she had felt when he had given it to her. She felt stupid for feeling like this, she really did. It wasn't a date or anything, he just wanted to meet Katie properly.

Meredith picked up the phone from it's holder beside her bed and dialled the numbers. She paced the room as she listened to the rings, waiting for him to answer.

"Hi, you've reached Derek Shepherd. I'm not here to take your call, but please leave your name and number and I will make sure to call you back as soon as I can," his recorded voice played out through the receiver.

_Beep. _

"Uh, hi. Derek. This is Meredith. Grey. Meredith Grey," she began awkwardly. She had never been awkward with men. Never. And now she felt completely stupid.

She continued with her message, telling Derek when and where they were going.

"You can just meet us there if you want. Or not. But if you do still want to, then that's where we'll be. Call me and let me know. Okay, bye," she concluded quickly hanging up the phone, before she had realized she hadn't given him her number.

Shit, she silently swore to herself. If he wanted to come, he could just meet them there.

* * *

Derek opened the door to his trailer and walked in. He'd been waiting anxiously for Meredith's call all morning, till the point where he needed to do something to distract himself. Having put on some shoes and a jacket, he had decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather today and go for a walk around his property. His attempt to preoccupy himself had proved successful and he had ended up losing track of time and spending even more of his time out there then he had initially planned on.

He checked his phone and sighed, seeing that there was a missed call from a private number. He assumed that would be Meredith and dialled the number to his voicemail.

_Uh, hi. Derek. This is Meredith. Grey. Meredith Grey_, she sounded incredibly nervous, and as she continued Derek got the impression that she felt like he wanted to go back on what he had said yesterday. When Meredith didn't leave him a number to call her back on, he realized he would just have to meet the two there. They were planning on getting there in about an hour and a half, which meant Derek would have to leave pretty soon if he wanted to arrive there on time.

He was feeling nervous. He'd been feeling like this ever since Meredith had invited him. Although, he had met Katie for a brief moment at the supermarket, he didn't know anything much about her. He hadn't even had a chance to talk to her, before Meredith had whisked her away and left him in a state of complete astonishment. This was a day that could change his life, he _wanted _it to change his life. And, if things went his way it would be a day that he would remember forever.

* * *

"Where's Derek?" Katie asked wondering as they walked into the ice rink, Meredith holding her hand.

She had made sure Katie had dressed warmly, despite Katie wanting to wear an outfit like the 'real' ice skaters wore. After calmly explaining to Katie that it would be cold and she didn't have one of those outfits, Katie had finally settled on her favourite pair of pants and a rainbow striped sweater.

"I don't know. I'm not actually sure if he'll be able to make it. We'll have to wait and see," Meredith explained, she herself wondering if he would show up.

"Oh, okay..." Was that disappointment Meredith could hear in her daughter's voice? She had no idea that she really was looking forward to Derek coming. Why would she, really? They had only met for a few minutes; he couldn't of left that much of an impression on her.

After having paid for their admission, they went to hire some skates. Meredith now feeling extremely unsettled by the idea of having to go out onto the ice, she really didn't like ice skating. But Katie looked more excited than she had seen her in a while, which said a lot as she always seemed to get excited over the littlest of things.

"Meredith!"

Both Meredith and Katie turned to find Derek, walking through the doors of the complex.

"There's our friend, Mommy," Katie exclaimed looking up at her mother. Since when had Derek become Katie's friend, she didn't know. It didn't matter though, it was definitely a good thing.

Derek walked over to them, and smiled.

"Hi Derek," Meredith smiled as he approached them. She felt Katie move behind her legs and she wondered why she was so shy around him, having seemed so excited to see him only moments earlier.

"Hi Meredith," he returned her smile. "Hi Katie," he said when she stuck her head to the side of Meredith legs to look at him.

"Hi Doctor Derek," and with that she took a step to Meredith's side and took a hold of her hand.

"How are you both?" Derek asked, feeling a little uncertain as to what he was supposed to say.

"We're good, aren't we, Katie?" Meredith answered for the two of them after Katie decided she was going to be uncharacteristically shy.

"Mhmm," Katie nodded. "I'm good, cause we're going ice skating."

"Have you been ice skating before?" Derek asked.

"Nope. But I'm going to be a profesh... profesinal skater when I'm bigger," announced Katie with a smile.

Derek laughed, "A professional? Wow, you must be really good then!"

"I am. I practiced this morning at my house," Katie explained as she let go of Meredith's hand.

Meredith smiled at the two of them, Katie seemed to be warming up to him already and he looked genuinely pleased that he had come.

"How about we go and get some skates?" Meredith asked.

They all walked over to the counter, where Meredith got a pair of hire skates for herself and Katie.

"Derek?" Meredith asked, "You're not getting any?"

"I brought my own."

"You have you're own skates?" If he had his own skates, it meant he was probably good. Well, better than her at least.

He answered her and they went and sat down on a bench, where they put on their skates.

"Just warning you, I'm not as confident in my ability as Katie seems to be," explained Meredith as they stepped onto the ice.

"I'm sure you'll do fine," Derek assured her, watching Meredith as she stood on wobbly legs.

Holding on to the side, Meredith slowly stepped along, Katie gripping her free hand tightly as she was pulled along by her mom.

Derek watched them for a moment, letting them gain some distance away from him before he skated up next to them. Turning so that he was facing them, he slowly skated backwards, his hands in his pockets.

"Mommy, can we go backwards?" Katie asked looking up.

"How about we just try and work on going forwards first?" Meredith said, shaking.

Derek watched the two with a smile as Meredith inched her way across the ice, pulling Katie with her.

"Try not to lift you're feet off the ice so much, Mere," Derek advised her.

Meredith looked at him and smiled, before looking at her own feet and following his advice. That little tip Derek had given her immediately helped in her mission at making a full circle.

"Can't we go faster, Mommy," Katie begged. "Please?"

Meredith looked down at her daughter, "I don't think so, Katie. Mommy is having a hard enough time as it is staying upright."

Derek, who was very slowly skating next to them, smiled at this. "Katie, if your mum is okay with it then I will take you around a couple of times, if you'd like?" Derek offered.

Katie smiled enthusiastically and Meredith answered, "Go ahead."

Katie dropped Meredith's hand and held it out beside her for Derek to take. He did so and smiled.

"We'll be back to take you around in a moment," Derek assured Meredith.

Meredith smiled at this, "oh great," she answered sarcastically.

Meredith watched as Derek took Katie around, starting out slower but then gaining a little more speed. Meredith could see Katie's grin from the other side of the rink and this made Meredith's own smile widen. Derek seemed like he was good with kids. Great, even. It made her feel even better about everything that was happening and Katie seemed to be enjoying herself, which was the most important thing.

After about five minutes, the two skated back to Meredith. Derek had taught Katie the basics and she seemed to be doing much better than Meredith was, who was still clutching the wall.

"Need a hand," Derek offered, extending his hand to Meredith.

She did need an extra hand. So far, she was not going too well.

She took his hand and he pulled her along, with Katie on the other side of him.

* * *

Meredith collapsed onto the bench once she was off the ice.

"You okay there?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, it's just been a while since I've gone skating," Meredith explained.

"Really? I would never have guessed," he teased.

Meredith smiled, the past hour and a half had been great. She'd expected it to be awkward or weird or something. But to be honest, it hadn't been. It had been nice. Derek was great with Katie and Katie really seemed to like him. He'd even managed to make Meredith laugh a good few times out there.

"My feet hurt," announced Katie.

"Well, let's get those off you then," Meredith told her as she undid the buckles on Katie's skates.

After taking off Katie's, she took of her own, wiggling he extremely numb toes.

"So how did you get so good, Derek?" Meredith asked.

"I used to play hockey," he explained.

Meredith was surprised, she hadn't pegged him as someone who'd played hockey.

"In high school, I played for a few years."

Meredith couldn't imagine him playing hockey at all, it always got so rough. But she figured there was a whole lot she didn't know about him.

After their skates were returned, Katie asked if they could get something to eat. It was now three o'clock and both Meredith and Derek needed a coffee. Meredith explained that there was a Starbucks down the road and asked Derek if he wanted to go with them.

"That'd be great," Derek replied. So far, he'd had a really great time and was extremely glad he'd agreed to doing this. Katie was great and he admired Meredith for brining up such an amazing little girl. He had already discovered Katie's favourite color, her favourite movie and animal and he was determined to stick around and get to know her better. Get to know them _both _better.

* * *

Katie finished off her blueberry muffin and sat with her chin resting in her hands at the table. Both Derek and Meredith were still drinking their coffee, having spent much of the time talking. Most of what they spoke about was work related, Derek promising Meredith that she could scrub in with him on the next surgery that she wanted to. She'd spent the past weeks trying to avoid his OR but now, she couldn't wait to get in there and show him what she could do.

Katie rested her head on the table and Meredith knew Katie was getting tired. It'd been a big day and Katie looked as though she could fall asleep right in her chair.

"I think we better get going in a minute," Meredith explained looking at Katie. "You awake over there?" she asked with a smile.

When Katie didn't answer, she knew it was time to go.

Derek looked at Katie and then back to Meredith, feeling happier than he'd felt in a long time.

Meredith apologised and stood up, Katie standing up with her. The three of them walked back to the street, where both their cars were parked. After Katie had said goodbye to Derek, Meredith strapped Katie into her seat and then turned to face him.

"Thank you for coming," she said as she shut the car door and stood on the sidewalk with him.

"Thank you for inviting me," he answered. "She's great."

Meredith nodded, a smile gracing her face. "She is."

"I really am glad you invited me," Derek assured her after a moment.

"I know." She really did. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you," and with that Meredith got into her car and headed home.

Derek watched as she drove away. He'd made the right decision; to want to be in their lives. He knew it.

He just hoped Meredith was feeling the same way he was about it.


End file.
